hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
