I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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