You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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