I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize