remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
