12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
accomplished twins. life is a go
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
