I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize