Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
