At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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