with your own penis?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
