It was confusing and full of hummus
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
