She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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