your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My bed smells like the plague
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