dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize