Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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