I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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