are you so shy because you have an std?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
