I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
