Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
