my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
