Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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