Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
