im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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