There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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