Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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