Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
