$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
