Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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