Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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