Just fell off a train. Bad.
Jerry, you need to find god
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
