just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
