Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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