Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
