wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
