Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
