he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
