margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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