Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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