I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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