I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
