Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
