for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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