On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
