Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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