This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
