I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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