I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
