i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My feet surprised me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
