Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
