He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
