Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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