508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
