NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
whose parrot is this?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
