Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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