I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
