Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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