Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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