Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
