found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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