Small penises have feelings too.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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