Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.

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(520): I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs. http://tfl.nu/4glk

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(574): View more from Indiana

So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

(574): View more from Indiana

Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

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(574): So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap. (574): Side Note: My mute button doesn't work. http://tfl.nu/2spl

Replies (10) Good night (593) Bad night (3594)
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(706): View more from Georgia

TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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(706): TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!! http://tfl.nu/qyaf

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'

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(913): Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered' http://tfl.nu/kmmk

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.

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(256): Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay. http://tfl.nu/5ucl

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.

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(902): Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines. http://tfl.nu/9k5b

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(636): View more from Missouri

The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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(636): The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.' http://tfl.nu/hueh

Replies (10) Good night (941) Bad night (4262)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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(260): I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box. http://tfl.nu/twf4

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(801): View more from Utah

This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

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(801): This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me. http://tfl.nu/7tsq

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(716): View more from New York

I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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(716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3

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(515): View more from Iowa

No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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(515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

(575): View more from New Mexico

Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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(575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db

Replies (8) Good night (2112) Bad night (620)
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(512): View more from Texas

You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.

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(512): You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you. http://tfl.nu/zer9

Replies (16) Good night (3045) Bad night (541)
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(360): View more from Washington

Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em

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(360): Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em http://tfl.nu/8kd5

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"

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(609): I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies... (1-609): You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award" http://tfl.nu/ecqm

Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (206)

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