i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Michael Bay diarrhea
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
