If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.