I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.