My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It's Friday. Sex?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
