I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
