they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
