I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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